When I was a child growing up in the olden days before Toys R Us, WalMart, Video games, and parents that spoiled their kids rotten all year long and ... (of yeah back to why I am not a Scrooge) . My 3 brothers and sister felt grateful when we got clothes and books and maybe 1 toy like a sled or a kitchen set. Speaking of a kitchen set, I remember the Christmas when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I had snuck into the dirt hole, that was where a basement should be, under the house we rented and saw a hand made kitchen set that had "from Santa" written on it in handwriting much like my dad's. This kitchen set was a mini size hutch/cupboard with 2 doors above a counter and 2 doors below. Being the oldest, and having to help my mom a lot around the house I assumed that it was for me (please do not dwell on why I wanted a kitchen set - it is not important to the story). After several weeks of keeping this discovery secret, the time came to unwrap the kitchen set. I eagerly anticipated hearing that the kitchen set was mine. What I heard instead was that the kitchen set was for my sister, and I got a red sled. I am pretty sure that I went ballistic and probably crushed my father's feelings when he tried so hard to get the correct gift and instead caused a big scene with a lot of crting and hurt feelings. I remember trying unsuccessfully to trade my sister the sled for the kitchen set. While that incident would support the Scrooge indictment ... "ooh the poor child was traumatized - no wonder he turned out to be a Scrooge". That was not what happened. Christmas was pretty routine for us for the next 10 years or so. There would always be cold weather with fresh crisp air and more times than not snow (we lived in Iowa). Every Christmas Eve our church would have a childrens Christmas show and we would each memorize a line or 2 that we would have to recite at a microphone in the front of the church. Our grandparents would sometimes attend. When we came home from church we would find all sorts of new presents under the tree, and the treat we left out for Santa would be gone. Probably why my mom tool so long getting into the car to go to church. I think the problems leading to potential scroogedom started when I started earning enough money to purchase presents. The first several years I spent a lot of time selecting the perfect gift for all family members. My parents were hard to buy for I don't think I ever found the perfect gift for them. I felt that would have required massive amounts of money for a major appliance or something similar. They were always grateful enough, but I never really believed that it made them happy enough. As I got older, I had less time to try to pick a perfect gift for my siblings and they started getting money of their own now, so if they really wanted something they could buy it during the year. I guess that the feeling of futility of getting a present that would surprise someone, something that they really wanted, something that they hadn't already bought for themself took its toll. I wanted the gifts at Christmas to be very special like the kitchen set could have been, like the original Christmas present. Lately, I can't come close to the old Christmas feeling. In Missouri it's as likely to be green and springlike as snowy in December. The air is not cold and crisp. There is too much noise and cement everywhere. The pace at Christmastime is too hectic. If you don't buy a gift for everyone that gets you a gift then you screwed up. If you get too many presents then your credit card bill haunts you like the ghost of the Christmas just past. I am trying to get over these feelings (as you can tell I have a ways to go) I suppose if (Ryan of Doom take note) I never got our kids anything special throughout the year that it would be easier for me to find something extra-special for Christmas.
About decorations, I do not like our plastic tree(we got it from a person that was moving and didn't want it any longer) , I do not like our lights (see now I sound nore like Sam (from Green Eggs and Ham - my calibur of literary reference). We always had a real tree (but we didn't have to pay a real lot - get it tree lot -lol). Decorating a tree is always a frustrating experience for me that is heightened by trying not to dampen the spirits of the kids that are trying to help but at the same time keeping the decorations safe and somewhat nicely arranged on the tree. I have never gotten into outside lights - I don't think that makes me a Scrooge. I don't believe that I need to go through a light display every Christmas. I look for things that will exude the pureness of the generousity that God had for us when he sent his Son, and these things are hard to find. I think the homeschool choir concert comes pretty close.
In conclusion, I am not a Scrooge. I am a frustrated idealist that has been beaten repeatedly by the commercial, non-reflective, see-how-much-we-can-cram-into-one-season-ness, forget-the real-meaning-for-the-season-ness that our society almost forces upon us. There are times when something as simple as offering a kleenex to someone during a game of Apples to Apples brings my heart the joy that it craves all year long, but especially at Christmas. Something as simple as a new tree may be a good place to start, or another kleenex incident.
Sorry - too tired to proof read.
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4 comments:
umm... okay... who did you pay to write that?
Christmas can also be fun because of the commercialism. :-P
Not sure why you included the pessimist definition. Every year I try to remain optimistic until the half-full glass has been spilled. I don't expect bad things to happen or the worst things to happen. I do not seek evidence that justifies a lack of Christmas spirit. I just cannot seem to keep things in perspective. The whole gift-giving experience petrifies me. Given: it is better to give than to receive. It is still hard to make sure all the family members are treated fairly, within budget, and yet get something that they will be happy with. Add to that helping the younger kids buy presents for everyone and I'm already losing the optimism. On the receiving side I feel a tremendous pressure to be able to have a genuine reaction ( I think it is this reaction that makes it better to give than to receive) that makes the giver have that sense of satisfation you get when you pick a perfect present, but still have an equally satisfying reaction for the next present that you get.... Whoa I feel the optimism oozing away ... it should not be this complicated. Does anyone else think like this?? How do you avoid feeling like this? Maybe that was why you included the pessimist definition.
Right. But when they are your kids that doesn't make it any easier. I like what you said about doing simple - now I have to think about what that looks like.
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